How being a teenager is (so far)

Life's not to bad you know? Being a teenager is stressful, and for sure has it's ups and down but i don't think i have to much to complain. Besides endless nights of homework, never ending tests, friendships lost, and of course those stupid BOYS. Okay, whenever i day boys are stupid, i don't really mean it. I just mean that they have caused great troubles in my life, and to me i find them quite annoying sometimes. In no way do i mean that they are actually stupid, even though some are, but then again some girls are stupid too. Anyways, being a teen is defiantly one of the best times i have ever had in my life. Granted i'm a freshman in high school and most people tell me that all this enthusiasm will be long gone by senior year. I am a very enthusiastic person if i do say so myself, and i hope by senior year high school hasn't dried me out too much. I hope high school doesn't ring me out like a soggy towel and leave me to hang completely dry. I get told so many times in one week that'll i'll stop feeling these feelings of enthusiasm and excitement. That really saddens me, because i hope by my senior year i can walk in with a huge smile on my face and be ready to tackle my last year of high school. Besides this, high school sure has taught me a lot in the past 7 1/2 months. It taught me to take pride in what i do, and do everything purposefully. It taught me to jump out of my comfort zone, and to just be me, because in the end if you're yourself then you come one more step closer to knowing yourself and creating yourself. High school has taught me that image is everything, that if you screw up your image, you're basically done for. Well, not exactly. It shouldn't be that way, that your past reflects on your future, but it some cases there really is no way to avoid it. That brings me to my next point, which is that people deserve the same respect you do. When i was in kindergarten, we had a golden rule which was "Treat everyone the way you should be treated." Now, i'm not perfect when it comes to following through with this rule but i try my best, i really do. That rule has always made a big impact on my life, all the way until now while i'm in high school. Onto my next topic, now if you were to ask 5 students about how they liked high school, i bet you that 3 out of 5 of them would tell you that they hate it. Why is that? What is so wrong with high school? Yes there is drama, sports, peer pressure, school work, and other extra curricular's but i think teens these days just need to learn how to make the best out of it all and look at the good of it. Now i understand that's very hard hard for people, but i hope that what i have to say next can help them warm up to the thought. High school comes with a lot of challenges, and it leads teens to make hundreds upon thousands of decisions. Even though this happens everywhere, wouldn't you rather worry about studying for a math test than how you're going to pay your rent for the month?As teens we aren't adults yet, and we don't have to worry about adult type decisions just yet. Now, that doesn't mean you can be stupid about everything you do, but just appreciate the fact that the decisions you are making now, aren't on such a large scale as they are in adulthood. Also, remember that going to school is a PRIVILEGE.That being educated, is something you shouldn't take for granted and you should be happy you don't walk around like a dumb zombie. This is getting rather lengthy and i think i am going to just leave this post by saying Freshman year has been a blast, and i cannot wait to see hat Sophomore year brings.

Testing the limits

How does one know when they've been pushed too far? How does one know when to stop caring, or to stop worrying? To just stop trying in general...

These questions have raced through my mind a lot in these past few months. It's really hard for me to stop trying, because i'm not one to just give up on things. I feel like, if you really haven't gotten any responses from someone in awhile, then they aren't worth your time. There has to be an equal amount of chasing. And by chasing i mean an equal amount of wanting the other person. Which could be as simple as someone texting first one day, and the next day the other person texting first. Where the problems usually occur are when one person is the only one chasing. I find myself being that person a lot, but when i think about it, the time will come when someone is chasing for me just as much as i am chasing for them. I'm in no rush to find that someone, because it all happens naturally. Besides, the best comes to those who wait. So, ill wait.

BE YOURSELF

I know I've written about this before, but i felt the need to write about it again. So, get over it. I think one of the best things you can do for yourself as a person is stay true to who you are. Whoever that may be, or whatever that may include. Whether you are mean, nice, caring, or even a bit silly, as long as you are you that is really all that matters at the end of the day. I think people are afraid of this type of image they will create for themselves. If you feel as if you're hiding behind a shell, then break out! No one is going to hit you just because you act a little different. Also, the best thing about being yourself is that people won't like you for someone that you aren't. They'll see the real you, and love you for that simple reason. Experimenting with yourself, will only get you closer to knowing the real person you are behind all the physical traits. And in life, that's one of the biggest obstacles to face. But, from my past experiences, i would rather have someone stare at me because i'm being myself, than look at me and smile because i'm trying to be someone else. It's taken me awhile to reach this part in my life, but i do have to say it feels pretty dang good. And i'm looking forward to see who the real Bridget is, and i hope you can have fun on your journey to seeing who the real you is as well.

I do what I do I guess because I need too

"Stop," they say. "Just don't think about it so much, you're hurting yourself in return," they say. 

This day to day situation reminds me of a child; a child being told not to do something, but continuously does it anyway. Why does the child do this? To show superiority? To be mischievous? To get attention? These same sort of questions race through my mind; as well as, the reason to why i let myself think of certain things. As a human being, why do i lead myself to pain? Why do i turn on the most depressing music i can find, and sit there on my phone and just think. I fill my thoughts with all these terrible assumptions. Maybe it's just a girl thing, or maybe it's just a teen thing, but whatever type of thing it is i wish i just could understand it. The worst part about it to me though is that people always tell me to stop thinking like this. By being told that, you've already given me even more reasons to think this way. Telling me to stop, is equivalent to telling a dog not to eat a treat that you are clearly waving in its face.

Masking the madness

Arguments scare me. I'll admit it. Lately I've been trying to avoid any fights i get into with people. I just act like it doesn't make me mad... I don't want them to leave me and never come back. My biggest fear right now is someone important in my life leaving me. Honestly i don't like fighting anyways. I try to respect others opinions, and views on things. I know that you can't hide from fighting, but I've been pretty good at it lately. In a way though, i feel like I'm hiding who i am by not getting angered at what i normally get angry about. At the same time, i think "What's the reason for getting mad?" Then there's always the philosophy of "Well if you have something to say, say it. You have to tell people how you really feel no matter how it may make them feel." That just frightens me...what if i told someone how i felt about something and they never come back? That's happened before, and it was one of the worst feelings i have ever been through. I'm afraid of telling to much of the truth because i feel like people will argue with me, which i don't want to do. Staying away from fighting releases tension, and drama. Which are two things i hate. I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, and no one ever coming back for me.. Because no one ever crawls back for me, I'm always that annoying one who texts first after a fight or bump in the road. And you know what? I'm tired of being that person; because being that person really sucks. 

Needs are not always wanted; but that's why they're a need

Some people come into your life for reason, and other for just a season. That's my motto anyway. I mean doesn't it make sense? I believe the reason aspect of the metaphor refers to the people who stay in your life the longest. These people imprint your life in a certain way and you just couldn't picture an image of your world without them in it. They're the type of people who care for you, support you, and only want the best for you. As for the season reference; It says that certain people only need to be in your life for a short while. Wether this short while be a week, a month, or even a few days, these people won't be there for forever. They're in your life for one reason; that reason being that they're there to teach you a lesson. Or even more than one lesson. Niether of you know this when you first meet each other, everything is peachy keen You've just met a new friend, you might even share commen intrests, and things are really starting to hit it off. They don't seem like a bad seed, but they are placed in your life for a reason. They're there for you to challenge yourself, take some risks, and maybe even break your heart . These types of people are the ones that keep you up at night asking yourself stupid questions you already know the answers too. They make you think, and they make you stronger. These people are needed in your life, even though most of the time they give you the most trouble. Even though they might  not stick around for long, just imagine what life would be like if you've never experienced something tragic; there would be no growth.

I'm in here somewhere

The real Bridget hasn't been around for awhile now.. and to be honest i don't know where she went. It's almost as if I've lost any drive or ambition i ever had. I don't get excited to do things as much anymore, and all i wanna do is lay in my bed and watch Netflix series all day. I'm not as passionate about the same things i used to be.. i don't know what's happening. It's like I've been stuck in a state of depression, and I've dug the hole so deep for myself that i don't know how to get out of it. I don't want you all to feel bad for me when you read this either. I'm just going through a stage i think. And no, I'm not cutting myself or anything like that. I'm really okay. It's just that when i look at myself in the mirror all i am is disappointed. Disappointed about not having all A's. Disappointed by not working as hard as i can on things. Disappointed because i don't practice cheer realted things at home. The list goes on for forever...Normally in a situation like this i would just say to myself "Hey! Don't be so hard on yourself. Get your head in the right direction and keep going. You need to stop being in the slumps and start living again." By typing that just now, i already feel a little better. Maybe i really should stop overthinking things and beating myself up. I'm depressed over nothing, honestly. I feel like a whiny baby right now. People have it a lot worse than me, and i need to be there for them if anything. Now get off your laptop and perk up, go make someones day, you love doing that.