When i look at you..

I see, a friend. Or are you a friend? What is a friend anyway? Sometimes i look at you as one of my favorite people on the planet...but other times i question myself to what you actually are, or what you actually mean to me. You make me laugh like no other, and you've also made me ball my eyes out. Which is kind of how i feel right now. It makes me really upset how you prioritize things. I feel like you think you have all your ducks in a row, but you don't. Do i mean anything to you, cause i feel like i'm often forgotten. This isn't a new feeling, but just because I've experienced this before doesn't mean i like it. AT ALL. I stick up for you. Did you know that? I try not to fall into all the rumors, and think what others think. How am i supposed to be this way though, when a majority of these things i hear are true?...Beyond all of this, what would you do without me? Right at this present moment, i think you'd be just fine without me. Just one less thing to worry about right? Exactly. I lay awake at night trying to remember what you do for me, who you are to me, and how you benefit me. Friends are supposed to go through thick and thin with each other; they are supposed to pull through and end up on top. Am i right? Or am i just different? Because that's all i am right? Different. Sorry i'm not your normal teenager. Actually i'm not sorry. I'm proud of who i am, and of who i'm becoming, and maybe you aren't helping in this development of me. I feel like you never care about what i have to say anymore. What would happen if i just walked away...when i look at you i am disgusted.

Writing through my eyes

When I write something, I just wing it. I don't like to think about adverbs, or where things go in a sentence. As long as something flows when I type it, I type it. I feel as if journalism is taking away my love for writing. Whenever I write something a certain way, it's considered "editorializing" which is a big no no in the journalistic department. What I think people don't realize is, when you are trying to help me fix my piece, saying "OH NO THATS EDITORIALIZING" doesn't help. I don't care what I'm doing wrong, just show me how to fix it so I won't do it again. Besides, what's wrong with editorializing? Whatever the heck that even means. I would really love for someone to sit down and explain it to me. If I knew what it was, maybe I wouldn't do it as much. But I feel like when I'm not writing "editorially" I'm not writing like myself. I feel like a different person. I don't want to write this way at all, which is the part that really gets to me. I want to express my thoughts, and findings through the newspaper on how I want to write them, but I guess that just isn't the answer. So now I'm just stuck; writing things that I really don't wanna write, but I guess that's just how it goes now. At least I still have my blog.