When i look at you..

I see, a friend. Or are you a friend? What is a friend anyway? Sometimes i look at you as one of my favorite people on the planet...but other times i question myself to what you actually are, or what you actually mean to me. You make me laugh like no other, and you've also made me ball my eyes out. Which is kind of how i feel right now. It makes me really upset how you prioritize things. I feel like you think you have all your ducks in a row, but you don't. Do i mean anything to you, cause i feel like i'm often forgotten. This isn't a new feeling, but just because I've experienced this before doesn't mean i like it. AT ALL. I stick up for you. Did you know that? I try not to fall into all the rumors, and think what others think. How am i supposed to be this way though, when a majority of these things i hear are true?...Beyond all of this, what would you do without me? Right at this present moment, i think you'd be just fine without me. Just one less thing to worry about right? Exactly. I lay awake at night trying to remember what you do for me, who you are to me, and how you benefit me. Friends are supposed to go through thick and thin with each other; they are supposed to pull through and end up on top. Am i right? Or am i just different? Because that's all i am right? Different. Sorry i'm not your normal teenager. Actually i'm not sorry. I'm proud of who i am, and of who i'm becoming, and maybe you aren't helping in this development of me. I feel like you never care about what i have to say anymore. What would happen if i just walked away...when i look at you i am disgusted.