Northwest Indiana

He was the first customer of the day, and seemed rather cheerful. Most people I know would find that annoying, however I’m pretty energetic in the morning, therefore I appreciated his energy.

It was about 7:20 when he came in, and he sat at the counter with a smile as a response to my, “Good morning! How are you?”

As I dropped off his coffee and water, he started explaining to me how he’s not from the area and he’d been driving past the restaurant for the past two days and decided he’d stop in because he loves mom and pops’ shops.

Right off the bat, I knew he’d be one of those customers whose stories I needed to put to paper. He was older, about mid-fifties. Glasses, slim, and stood about six foot tall.

Before I even hung up his ticket to place his order, I learned that his son had just moved in down the street, and was a fresh college grad. He landed a job at GM, which according to his dad, “he’s had since before he finished school.”

He ordered your standard American breakfast, two eggs over easy, bacon, hash browns, and white toast.

I started asking questions, which for me isn’t anything unusual. I asked him about where he was from, where his son went to school, what his impressions of Waterford were.

He was from northwest Indiana about 30-40 miles out of Chicago. His son graduated from Purdue, and so far he liked Waterford. He mentioned that his son rented a house out in Clawson for the past couple months, and he found the community there cute and close knit.

However the commute was too much for his son, and he wanted to work toward owning a house. Or at least, that’s what I think he said…

We continued to talk as he ate, which I was 100 percent content with especially since that meant I didn’t have to clean.

I talked up the coney A LOT. I told him about how all of our regulars are like family. It was the typical speech I give to people when they tell me they’re first-timers. I start with all the service guys we have on hand, one in particular because he plows our parking lot, mows the grass and even weedwacks in the summer.

From there I moved on to say that I got my most recent dog from a regular, which I will be forever grateful for.

The guy seemed amazed by what I had to say about what he called the “little hole in the wall of Waterford.” I was happy that he had such a positive response to a place that’s been almost like a second home to me for the past two years.

When our conversation died down,  the guy shouted across the counter to the back window, “Hey man, great food! Seriously this is really good!”

“Hey thanks, no problem man I’m glad you liked it!” Donnie, one of our regular cooks responded with a smile and a wave of his hand.

He then asked, “Hey, so what are your names?”

“I’m Bridget,” I said while folding both of my hands in towards my chest, “and that’s Donnie back there,” I said as I pointed behind me.

“Well it was very nice to meet you two, I’m really happy I made a U-turn and came in here instead of going to McDonalds.”

“Aw, well thank you! I’m happy you came in too, it’s been really nice talking to you. And what’s your name?” I replied.

“Oh yeah,” he chuckled. “I’m Brian!”

From there, we talked about how I go to the high school down the street, and I plan on going to Chicago for college next year.

He told me he was a UPS driver, and worked early mornings that led to late nights since most of his drives revolved around the Chi-Town area. Yet another bonus. An energetic customer before 8 o’clock, and one who’s familiar with Chicago, I wasn’t complaining the slightest even if my stomach was rumbling a tad.

Somehow we got talking about unions, and the lack of interest in the trades field nowadays. We talked about how it seems like everyone needs to go drown themselves in debt in order to make it somewhere in life.

We talked about the pressure kids face when choosing a college, and how unfortunate that trades jobs aren’t as reliable as they once were.

Before he left, I gave him a coffee to take with him, and I joked that if his son came in without him, I’d give him a rough time.

I told him I’d say, “Hey, I know of this guys dad that just came in. I think they grew up in Northwest Indiana? About 40 minutes from Chicago I believe. Oh! And his son graduated from Purdue and now has a job at GM?”

Brian died at the thought of this, not literally of course but instead rather hysterically.

Before he left, he looked at me and said, “You know, you can really tell your parents did a nice job raising you, you’re a very kind girl.”

That’s easily the nicest thing I think any ‘stranger’ has ever said to me. And it made my heart really warm and fuzzy inside, which is the reason why I’ll never stop writing stories like these.

305. Have you ever used peer pressure to convince someone to convince someone to participate in a questionable activity?

Hello! I apologize for my lack of blogging, however I haven't had enough motivation within these past couple of months to type a single thing. I contemplated every somewhat creative idea that crossed my mind, and I just decided no, no, no.

I was gifted an amazing book for my birthday, which is titled "365 Journal Writing Prompts to Inspire Creativity and Personal Growth", by Austin Greyson. This book is exactly what I've needed, especially during this creativity drought of mine. Huge shout out to Jeffery Holloway and Abbeylin Bland for this phenomenal gift!

I decided, I'd create a series on my blog of me reacting to the prompts in the book. I'm going to title the blog posts according to the prompt I'm writing on. I'm not going to start with the first one and go along in numerical order either. I'm going to randomly pick one each time I feel the need to write. Alright, I'll stop babbling now, and carry on with the post. Enjoy! : )




At a first glance, this is one of those loaded questions that I myself have to read aloud in order to understand completely. I'm an auditory learner and it helps, okay? Don't feel ashamed if you do it to!

Anyways, yes I'll admit that I have used peer pressure to convince someone to convince someone else to participate in a questionable activity. I think most of this generated from my pre-teen awkward stages of middle school. You know, everyone is trying their best to be unique but, just like everyone else all at the same time. It's a genius concept.

Other than that, I'm sort of stumped. I feel like I've only flirted with the idea of peer pressure...I've never been the type to fall for it, because I think it's stupid. I've always been a free spirit type person, like a "think what you want and do what you want" type. Therefor, this prompt isn't that easy for me to elaborate on.

In no way shape or form am I saying I'm perfect either. I know I've done this, I just can't recall a specific time or story that correlates to it. I know I'm guilty of it, I just can't pinpoint when. Well, that's all I have for today's post. Sorry if that was bland, but you know sometimes its just has to be that way. There has to be this balance of bland and flavor, sort of like cooking. Today is just a bland post kind of day.

-B

Dreams

Throughout my junior year, I've pondered many times about what I want to pursue after high school and the ways in which I'll be doing so. I mean c'mon now, haven't we all had that moment where we say to ourselves "Man, what am I going to be doing for the rest of my life?"

With this being said, I wanted to tell a story about a boy I met in the waiting room of my therapy office today.

He was tall, and I could tell he was older than me. When he signed in with the receptionist he was in complete joy. "So, today was my final day of highschool, I did it," the boy said. "Well hey way to go!" the receptionist replied. After them chatting about his current situation, I couldn't help but be curious. I wondered "What are his plans after high school? What does he like to do? Where will he potentially go to college?"

People's stories interest me; contrary to the Detroit Free Press I had in my hand, so I decided to talk to him instead. Whenever I get a chance to talk to new people, I take it. In my opinion we can't learn something new everyday if we aren't willing to try.

He sat down in front of me, and seemed shy at first. After about a minute or so I put my paper down and said "Hey, so your last day of high school was today? Very cool." He responded with, "Yeah it was, was yours too?" After I told him no, and that I was only a junior, he said, "Ah okay, well don't worry your time will come!"

To my surprise this boy I was chatting with is graduating from Mott on Sunday, however I didn't get a chance to know his name. Although, I did ask him about his plans after high school, and as he was describing them to me his shoulders dropped, his head hung lower, and he had a harder time maintaining eye contact with me.

He described to me that after high school he planned on working for a couple years to potentially save money for community college. He also explained how he wanted to go into electrician work, since he worked well with his hands and the majority of his family worked in the industry do he'd be able to land a good job. He said the money he'd raise from working for a couple of years would go to the school-based-training he'd be required to go through in order to be an electrician.

This was interesting to me, and I told him that it sounded like a cool plan. However, just by his body language alone I knew that being an electrician wasn't exactly what he dreamed of doing one day.

The dynamic of the conversation changed when I asked, "Well, if there were no restrictions on money or grades, what would your dream job be?"

Trying to keep calm, he replied with, "Well I've always wanted to be a philosopher."

His answer just about blew me out of the water. A philosopher he said. Honestly, when was the last time someone gave you that answer? For me, this was a first.

Now that I knew the what, I needed to know the why. So, I asked him. He responded with something along the lines of, "I believe that I have a lot of important and different beliefs. Society is pretty messed up- wait no, scratch that, society IS messed up. I want to explain to people my beliefs as to why society is so wrong."

It saddens me to know that America, and quite frankly the world, isn't fully equip for all of us to pursue our dreams and utter most passions within our lifetimes. It breaks my heart to hear stories like these, because who knows, maybe this boy could be one of the best future philosophers- maybe he'd even be featured in our great grandchildren's textbooks.

No Shave November: Day 7 (aka one week anniversary)

It has officially been an entire week since I last shaved my armpit hair.

I don't remember the last time that this situation has happened in my life. To be frank, I don't believe it ever has happened. Back when I was shaving, it would either be daily, or every other day. And the longest period I had ever went without shaving was somewhere around the timeline of about four days max. MAX. Basically, my mindset on the topic was strict to a shaving schedule. Anything after 4 days in my mind seemed barbaric. However, I'm FAR from that mindset now.

I've noticed that most of the short sleeve t-shirts I wear, barely, if at all any, show my armpit hair. I mean this might be because my hair isn't too long yet, but in the past I don't know why I was so concerned on whether or not I had shaved.

My wardrobe consists of simple, scoop/crew neck short sleeves, and out of the majority of them that I own, my hair underneath my arms doesn't even peek through. I used to be that person that would wake up late, skip a shower, throw a t-shirt on, and simply wet my razor just to quickly swipe underneath my arms. Looking back at it, I can only IMAGINE how horrible that was for both my skin, and the hair follicles under my arm.

Once again, I apologize for my lack of posting last night (and I also apologize that today's post is so late, and is technically "Day 8"s post). Let's be real here though. I'm human, you're human, and we make mistakes, and aren't always on our A game. Last night I fell asleep on the couch, and then it was past midnight so I called it a night and went to bed. Which I find absolutely fine. Would you guys rather have me post daily with barely anything to say about my day, or skip a few days here and there, so I can a) live my life and b) provide you with better content?

That was a trick question, and the answer is clear; I'm human, and I will post when I feel it benefits you, the reader, the most. I believe this is a fair, and logical change to my No Shave November series, and as of now, these conditions comply to future posts.

Thank you guys so much for all your kind words, love, and support! Here are today's (tonight's?) photos:

No Shave November: Day 5

Hello!

As far as today went, I continued to receive extremely positive comments from peers in regard to this social experiment. Let me just say I appreciate all that is said, and I'm over joyed with how widely accepted this challenge I'm putting myself through is.

The sweating is still a problem. I do officially now believe the hair plays a large roll in it. 

Unfortunately I don't have any nifty stories to share, or current experiences I've faced today. Although, I can say that the hair is starting to get a little itchy, and I'm not going to lie to you about that one.

Thank you for reading today's small post, and here are the photos of the day:

No Shave November: Day 4

I AM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING YESTERDAY

I received many comments about this, in person, and over the phone. Even if I were to have post yesterday, I'm just warning you now it would've been boring. I didn't have much social interaction since we had the day off from school, and the hair growth wasn't tremendously different from Day 2.

However, today I noticed that the hair growth is in full swing. Is it weird that a certain part of me feels like that awkward preteen boy who had one armpit hair but now has like a solid 10? It is now 100% noticeable that I am growing hair under my armpit, and for some reason that just causes me great pleasure.

I did not receive any comments from peers or strangers today on my armpits, and I don't believe that scenario will happen for awhile due to the fact that there's not really THAT much hair under there.

One aspect of today that I did want to point out is that I felt like I was excessively sweating underneath my arms. Yes, I had visible pit stains, and no, I was not ashamed of them, nor will I ever be. It's not my fault that that is one of the natural ways my body gets rid of water; and it's not as if I am going to go out and tailor my clothing around my pit stains. That is absolutely absurd. My argument is, that if you use deodorant, you don't smell bad, and you have pit stains on your shirt, then why should you be embarrassed? As long as you don't smell bad, you're golden in my book.

I am curious though, if there is a correlation between me having more armpit hair, and my naturally excessive sweating getting worse. From my research, I have found that when you shave your armpit hairs, you give the bacteria that sweat gives off (the odor as well) less area to breed or multiply. Also, by shaving, you are increasing your effectiveness of your deodorant. Although, I don't know how much this pertains to me, because before when I was shaving about every other day, I still had pools of sweat underneath my arms. I guess it's sort of a loose-loose situation for me.

As far as today's photos go I decided to change it up. I have an individual photo of each armpit, and them the standard one I've been posting of the two armpits in one picture.

Hope you enjoyed today's post, and I better see you back tomorrow! :)

No Shave November: Day 2

Hello everyone!

There's not much I can say about today. For the most part, I received numerous positive comments about my post yesterday. Which is greatly appreciated.

I was also faced with one main question of the day which was, "Are you really doing it for the whole month?" And to answer their question, and any confusion, yes I am not shaving my body hair for the entire month of November.

With that being said, here is my picture for today. Hair is starting to stubble, but it is barely noticeable

.

No Shave November: Day 1

For social experiment reasons, this year I decided to participate in No Shave November. My main focus is around armpit hair, mostly because leg hair isn't as much of a problem in November due to the weather. 

Before starting this, I looked into a little as to why shaving armpit hair for women started. I realized that yes, it was all due to marketing, but the fact that women stuck with it is what caught me off guard. Women shaving their armpit hair is basically one of the first forums of how society pushes women and their appearance around. 

Most of my findings came from this short little video clip:Why did women start shaving their armpits? 

Throughout the month of November, I will be reporting on my experience, and posting daily photos of how much hair actually does grow. I recently shaved this morning, because I wanted to start the month off on a fresh start. 

My main reason behind doing this is simple, I want to know why women having armpit hair is so repulsive, disgusting, and unaccepted. In my own opinion, I don't see it this way. However, I'm curious as to why people find hair under a women's arm pit hair so remarkably "unsanitary".

I hope you enjoy my blog, as I embark on this month long journey! 

Day 1 Clean Slate

Listen

DISCLAIMER- I wrote this piece for a New York Times contest. I did not win, but I am pleased with what I was able to produce. It isn't gold, but I believe it's worth a read.

It’s 2015, and humans are struggling with the basic linguistic skill of listening.

Listening is deeper than hearing. When you hear something, you don’t dissect it, pull it apart, or try to understand it. You hear it, and move on. Sort of like feeling gum underneath a school desk and pulling your hand away without an ounce of hesitation.

Hearing doesn't work well in a conversation setting. If I’m talking to one of my close friends and explaining to them that I've had a bad day, I expect them to try to understand why my day was bad. However, this isn't a perfect world and not everyone is going to listen to what you have to say.

Listening is hard work, you have to fully commit yourself to what another person is trying to explain to you.  Good listeners challenge themselves, and don’t walk away from a conversation with assumptions, because assumptions aren't good enough.

It’s rare to find people who actually listen. Most of the time, when conversing with my peers it’s like a big game of jeopardy. Contestants on jeopardy fight to be heard, in order to answer the question correctly. While jeopardy contestants use a buzzer, teenagers use their mouths.  

On average, we listen at a rate of 125-250 words a minute, but think at 1,000-3,000 words per minute. We don’t even listen to half the amount of words we think. This just goes to show that for every 125-250 words heard, it takes anywhere from 1,000-3,000 words to comprehend them.

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. As effective communicators we must listen twice as much as we speak.

Great listening skills generate from people who care. And in this day and age, most people don’t. We silence our children with iPads, and remove ourselves from complex conversations with big words and scary realizations.

I consider myself a good listener. When people are venting to me, I look for specific aspects of the story to keep the conversation flowing. I’m not one to say, “I’ll always be there for you,” and then hear your story just so I can leave you abandoned and alone.

As Henning Mankell says,  “What differentiates us from animals is the fact that we can listen to other people’s dreams, fears, joys, sorrows, desires, and defeats - and they in turn can listen to ours.”

Humans have the privilege to be able to listen to one another. We can share ideas, compare likes and differences, and learn from one another. The ability to improve the world starts with the simple skill of listening.

If we don’t shut up and start listening, we’ll never know what deserves to be heard. So pay attention to what people say to you, formulate questions on things you don’t understand, and above all:

Listen.

Acceptance

Learning how to accept people, situations, and life is hard. I'm not going to lie; this is probably one of the hardest life lessons for me.

It's hard to look at someone who doesn't get something right away, when you clearly understand the lesson just fine, and not think to yourself, 'C'mon, this isn't that hard. Just pay attention. Work harder. This shouldn't take you this long."

I used to be extremely critical of those who couldn't take directions, or finish tasks. Yes, that does sound rude. And it is, but it took me awhile to realize how rude it was. It was hard for me to understand that no every-ones brains are wired the same way as mine. I understood that people were different, but it was almost as if this thought vanished once I witnessed something out of the ordinary.

Public is where most of these thoughts generate from. How could someone die their whole head bright pink? How could they cover almost every square inch of their bodies with piercings? How could you bare that many children? How is that girl wearing that, doesn't she know it makes her look slutty?

We've all had these thoughts. It's as if your mind is controlled by gate, only allowing specific things that you believe should be let in, in.

I've learned that this is no way to live your life. It isn't healthy, if anything it rots your brain. You have to accept all types of people, and their ideals that come with them.

Being accepting of others and their ideas doesn't mean that you like or agree with what they have to say or do. It means you can look past their "ridiculous" traditions, such as only wearing pink on Wednesdays or eating meat once a week. Accepting is coming to a realization that no every one in the world is programmed like yourself. That's why there is diversity in the world.

It's easier to look past the small things. For example, I can't stand when people don't match their clothing. But why should I spend my time stressing on such a minuscule problem? Maybe they don't even view it as a problem. They are wearing what they are because they wanted to. THEY wanted too. It's not what I wanted. I wear things that match, I always have, and I always will. What's most important here is that I'm happy in the clothing I dress myself in. And as long as others are happy in what they are wearing, it is not my job as an outsider to make them feel any less of themselves, or judge them because of how they choose to express themselves.

Aside from plaid on plaid, or denim on denim, there are bigger things to accept in life. One of them being crisis.

No one ever wants to accept that horrible events "just happen," but to me, that's the only way I can properly handle them. In my most recent post I wrote about how my camera was stolen from me in the middle of the night. Now that I look back at it, I accept that there are cruel and horrendous people in this world. I can't do anything about that ( I mean unless I join law enforcement, which is something I'd never do).

To whomever is reading this, there is one message I want to make clear: Worry about yourself, and understand that people are different from you. As long as your actions represent the best version of yourself, try not to worry about what others do around you. Accept that you're you, and they're them. Accept that some situations are going to happen, and how you react to them builds a better you. Good luck on your journey of acceptance, for I myself am not finished with mine.

Reality with It's Best Shot

It's just a hand sized piece of plastic.

It's just a camera.

A device used to take photos.

That's all it is.

Let me ask this question, why am I so broken over this $600 piece of plastic? Why did my heart drop the moment I knew I'd never get it back? Was it because of the photo's actually left on the camera? The photo's of Bob Woodward? The Bob Woodward who reported the Watergate Scandal. You know what, I don't even think the photo's meant anything to me at that moment. I believe it was the realization that I could no longer take photo's. I convinced my parents to let me take this trip to Washington DC, to learn more about journalism, and photography in general. And in that moment, the fact that my camera was gone and wasn't coming back, hit me hard. Real hard. The best way I can describe the feeling, is an example that relates to cheer, specifically me backspotting. 

You're trying a new stunt. A lib, (one legged above your head stunt), with a twist cradle down. For me being the person in the back, I'm in charge of the flyers safety, but at the same time, I'm scared for my own safety. Usually, I'm able to push my safety out of the way, the flyer ends up being the center of attention. Sort of like when I was traveling with my camera, I was worried about bringing my most cherished item so far away from home. But I did it anyway, I shoved the negativity out of my brain, and just worried about my cameras safety and moved on. The stunt hits, she's in the air solid as a rock. Here comes the moment of truth-the end. Will she twist all the way around and make it? Or will she freak out halfway through, resulting with a hit to the face for me, and me on the ground with her in my arms? Here we go, I shout,"5..6..7..8,"  I let go and watch it all unfold. She chose the second option for today. As she's spazzing out in the air, I feel an elbow to the face before I see it. It makes that BANG noise in your head that quite frankly I can't describe, you just have to feel it.It's a noise I've heard far too many times, but I don't really mind it, my flyers safe, so technically I'm good. After the stunt burns and crashes, everyone checks to see the status of group. Once we all realize that we're okay, we set back up, and prepare to do it all over again.

By taking my camera to DC, I knew of the risks, I knew it could be taken from me. At the end of the day though, that thought was shoved so far back in my head, that It seemed unrealistic. That only happens in movies, It couldn't ever happen to me...

I would much rather take a blow to the face from a flyer than my camera being ripped from my room at late hour of the night. The pain I felt in the moment of it all, was unreal. I can honestly say I have never hurt so bad in my life, and If I have, I can't remember when. When I heard that it was gone forever, It was very similar to being smacked in the face. Like reality slapped it's wicked ways against my heart, to show that anythings possible, and this occurrence could happen to anyone. 

I haven't been able to write about this, because I honestly didn't know how. But, oddly enough, by just typing out snippets of my thoughts, I feel better. No one will understand how important that camera was. It was my first step, into a long line of future cameras. It is nice to say "well at least you weren't hurt or messed with by the person who came into your room,"...But at the same time I am hurt. Mentally, which is always the type of hurt that's ignored. It's not like you can see someone is mentally hurt as clear as you can see a huge bruise across someones face. As for now, I start at square one. Slowly replacing everything that was taken from me, and the mental scarring that I'll hold on to for forever. Sorry that I couldn't be happy at the end of this post. Reality isn't always happy, and that Is one thing I learned on my last trip to Washington DC.

A Painless World Would be Pretty Painful

Falling down as a child was never fun, but it was significant. Without the pain of the scrape on your knee, you would have never known not to take a sharp turn on your bike down a winding hill. Almost all of us were stubborn kids at one point; which includes being told not to do something, but doing it anyways. Heck why not do it? It was funny to see mom mad. Aside from that, I can relate a scrape on the knee, to the scrape of a heart (not literally of course, c'mon people it's metaphor talk). I have endured many painful experiences within my 15 years on this plant. And I am grateful for each and every one of them. Even though some of them left huge scars on my knees...other than that, they have all helped shape me into the Bridget I am today. Heartbreak was one of my earliest painful experiences. Without it, I wouldn't know how to love like I do now. I wouldn't understand how to cherish the things I love, and not take them for granted. Without loss, I would've never knew what to do once I gained something amazing. Pain has taught me how to ask the right types of questions. When I have a problem going on, I don't want people to tell me how to fix it, therefor I don't say "Tell me how to solve my problem." The key word I want you to pull out of that sentence was 'MY'. It's my problem, why should I have someone else tell me how to fix it? They only know the parts of the problem I told them about, they most likely don't know the whole story. As we grow older, we begin realizing that no answers will just be handed to you, accompanied by a smooth solution. The only time that will legitimately happen is when you're stuck on a math problem, and you ask the smartest kid in class for the answer. As humans we understand that our problems are our own, and so, we must ask questions that benefit ourselves. Questions that will help you achieve YOUR solution. We need to learn how to find out the answers to our questions, rather then being told the "answers" upfront. I hope this little entry helped you think about pain a bit deeper, and a bit differently. If you really think about it, a world without pain, would actually be a pretty painful world.

Feelings

As a child, we are taught what feelings or emotions are on some type of note card, or in some flip book, which is accompanied by a picture. If one is sad, we are taught they are frowning. If one is happy, they are smiling. If one is angry, their face is squinted, which then also follows up with red puffy cheeks. What if this was all hypothetical? What if while someone was sad, they were smiling? Or if someone was angry, and they didn't have bright red cheeks and a puckered mouth? As a child, we cannot be taught reality.

Pain is a feeling that needs to be felt in this world. Society has a hard time accepting that. I had a hard time accepting that as well, I used to think that if someone wasn't happy or smiling then something was wrong with them.There's nothing wrong with them, they're simply human, and until now, I didn't know that was possible.

It is easier to be sad in this world. You have to strive for happiness, I mean lets face it, some people can't even get off the couch, so why in the world would they try to be happy? Material things such as new technology, food, raises, and clothing provide people with the fake happiness they can live off of. Not saying that you shouldn't be happy when you get the newest version of an iPod, but when that is all you have to be happy for, things don't go so smoothly. Your path starts to get rocky, you thrive for a happiness, and you just don't understand. This is what happened to me.

At one point in your life you have seen some post by a sappy teenager that reads something like this; Fake a smile, even at your worst. OR I'm smiling on the outside, but I'm dying on the inside.  As humans we don't enjoy the feeling of being vulnerable. I like to call it being naked. Obviously i'm not talking about physically, but emotionally. I think (metaphorically)  that your clothes are your materialistic happiness we all have. They keep you from being naked and vulnerable. You don't have to show your true colors, which is something a majority of us fear. Why do we fear such a thing? Posters and messages are plastered all around our life telling us to just be ourselves. How exactly do we do that? Judgement is something I fear. It's a silly fear, but it's a legitimate one. I'm afraid to be naked, to share my thoughts sometimes. Knowing someone could shoot my idea down, or give me a dirty look for something I said, is something that is very scary to me.  Writing this now, I feel stupid. Where is the Bridget that didn't care? The Bridget that did her own thing, because that's what she wanted to do? Maybe that Bridget just gave up. Simply because she didn't receive the followers she wanted. My life is completely irrelevant to all of this. What I want YOU to get out of this, the reader, is that in life we should learn how to be naked. How to be vulnerable. How to accept sadness, or depression and take it by the horns. I say, with time, we can all learn how to accept our feelings. Good luck on your travels my friends.

Groups

Other than group projects (which never work out) neither do groups of friends. It's always so complicated to find rides to go places, or if everyone is in the group chat, and then there's dating within the group. That's the worst part. Dating leads to cuddling and then the rest of the group just kinda sits there awkwardly...Anyways, back to my point; I don't like being associated with a group, because i feel like they're too much hassle. And how do you know that you are guaranteed a spot in the group? That has happened to me, it felt like i was just thrown out and i was like "Why did i deserve this? What did i do wrong?" Being thrown out of a group definitely one of the worst feelings in the world. Not being apart of one makes  me feel as if i have no friends. Which is totally not my case. I have boat loads of friends, or at least i think that i do, the only problem is that i guess you could say you can't squeeze me into a group of people i hangout with. My philosophy is that if you don't give me a reason not to like you, then i like you. I'm not the type of person who just has the regulars over every weekend and has a great time. Or calls up my closest gal pals to go see a movie. My friends are all different, and i like that. I get to see everyone's perspective, and i love being around such a variety.

How being a teenager is (so far)

Life's not to bad you know? Being a teenager is stressful, and for sure has it's ups and down but i don't think i have to much to complain. Besides endless nights of homework, never ending tests, friendships lost, and of course those stupid BOYS. Okay, whenever i day boys are stupid, i don't really mean it. I just mean that they have caused great troubles in my life, and to me i find them quite annoying sometimes. In no way do i mean that they are actually stupid, even though some are, but then again some girls are stupid too. Anyways, being a teen is defiantly one of the best times i have ever had in my life. Granted i'm a freshman in high school and most people tell me that all this enthusiasm will be long gone by senior year. I am a very enthusiastic person if i do say so myself, and i hope by senior year high school hasn't dried me out too much. I hope high school doesn't ring me out like a soggy towel and leave me to hang completely dry. I get told so many times in one week that'll i'll stop feeling these feelings of enthusiasm and excitement. That really saddens me, because i hope by my senior year i can walk in with a huge smile on my face and be ready to tackle my last year of high school. Besides this, high school sure has taught me a lot in the past 7 1/2 months. It taught me to take pride in what i do, and do everything purposefully. It taught me to jump out of my comfort zone, and to just be me, because in the end if you're yourself then you come one more step closer to knowing yourself and creating yourself. High school has taught me that image is everything, that if you screw up your image, you're basically done for. Well, not exactly. It shouldn't be that way, that your past reflects on your future, but it some cases there really is no way to avoid it. That brings me to my next point, which is that people deserve the same respect you do. When i was in kindergarten, we had a golden rule which was "Treat everyone the way you should be treated." Now, i'm not perfect when it comes to following through with this rule but i try my best, i really do. That rule has always made a big impact on my life, all the way until now while i'm in high school. Onto my next topic, now if you were to ask 5 students about how they liked high school, i bet you that 3 out of 5 of them would tell you that they hate it. Why is that? What is so wrong with high school? Yes there is drama, sports, peer pressure, school work, and other extra curricular's but i think teens these days just need to learn how to make the best out of it all and look at the good of it. Now i understand that's very hard hard for people, but i hope that what i have to say next can help them warm up to the thought. High school comes with a lot of challenges, and it leads teens to make hundreds upon thousands of decisions. Even though this happens everywhere, wouldn't you rather worry about studying for a math test than how you're going to pay your rent for the month?As teens we aren't adults yet, and we don't have to worry about adult type decisions just yet. Now, that doesn't mean you can be stupid about everything you do, but just appreciate the fact that the decisions you are making now, aren't on such a large scale as they are in adulthood. Also, remember that going to school is a PRIVILEGE.That being educated, is something you shouldn't take for granted and you should be happy you don't walk around like a dumb zombie. This is getting rather lengthy and i think i am going to just leave this post by saying Freshman year has been a blast, and i cannot wait to see hat Sophomore year brings.

Testing the limits

How does one know when they've been pushed too far? How does one know when to stop caring, or to stop worrying? To just stop trying in general...

These questions have raced through my mind a lot in these past few months. It's really hard for me to stop trying, because i'm not one to just give up on things. I feel like, if you really haven't gotten any responses from someone in awhile, then they aren't worth your time. There has to be an equal amount of chasing. And by chasing i mean an equal amount of wanting the other person. Which could be as simple as someone texting first one day, and the next day the other person texting first. Where the problems usually occur are when one person is the only one chasing. I find myself being that person a lot, but when i think about it, the time will come when someone is chasing for me just as much as i am chasing for them. I'm in no rush to find that someone, because it all happens naturally. Besides, the best comes to those who wait. So, ill wait.

BE YOURSELF

I know I've written about this before, but i felt the need to write about it again. So, get over it. I think one of the best things you can do for yourself as a person is stay true to who you are. Whoever that may be, or whatever that may include. Whether you are mean, nice, caring, or even a bit silly, as long as you are you that is really all that matters at the end of the day. I think people are afraid of this type of image they will create for themselves. If you feel as if you're hiding behind a shell, then break out! No one is going to hit you just because you act a little different. Also, the best thing about being yourself is that people won't like you for someone that you aren't. They'll see the real you, and love you for that simple reason. Experimenting with yourself, will only get you closer to knowing the real person you are behind all the physical traits. And in life, that's one of the biggest obstacles to face. But, from my past experiences, i would rather have someone stare at me because i'm being myself, than look at me and smile because i'm trying to be someone else. It's taken me awhile to reach this part in my life, but i do have to say it feels pretty dang good. And i'm looking forward to see who the real Bridget is, and i hope you can have fun on your journey to seeing who the real you is as well.

I do what I do I guess because I need too

"Stop," they say. "Just don't think about it so much, you're hurting yourself in return," they say. 

This day to day situation reminds me of a child; a child being told not to do something, but continuously does it anyway. Why does the child do this? To show superiority? To be mischievous? To get attention? These same sort of questions race through my mind; as well as, the reason to why i let myself think of certain things. As a human being, why do i lead myself to pain? Why do i turn on the most depressing music i can find, and sit there on my phone and just think. I fill my thoughts with all these terrible assumptions. Maybe it's just a girl thing, or maybe it's just a teen thing, but whatever type of thing it is i wish i just could understand it. The worst part about it to me though is that people always tell me to stop thinking like this. By being told that, you've already given me even more reasons to think this way. Telling me to stop, is equivalent to telling a dog not to eat a treat that you are clearly waving in its face.

Masking the madness

Arguments scare me. I'll admit it. Lately I've been trying to avoid any fights i get into with people. I just act like it doesn't make me mad... I don't want them to leave me and never come back. My biggest fear right now is someone important in my life leaving me. Honestly i don't like fighting anyways. I try to respect others opinions, and views on things. I know that you can't hide from fighting, but I've been pretty good at it lately. In a way though, i feel like I'm hiding who i am by not getting angered at what i normally get angry about. At the same time, i think "What's the reason for getting mad?" Then there's always the philosophy of "Well if you have something to say, say it. You have to tell people how you really feel no matter how it may make them feel." That just frightens me...what if i told someone how i felt about something and they never come back? That's happened before, and it was one of the worst feelings i have ever been through. I'm afraid of telling to much of the truth because i feel like people will argue with me, which i don't want to do. Staying away from fighting releases tension, and drama. Which are two things i hate. I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, and no one ever coming back for me.. Because no one ever crawls back for me, I'm always that annoying one who texts first after a fight or bump in the road. And you know what? I'm tired of being that person; because being that person really sucks. 

Needs are not always wanted; but that's why they're a need

Some people come into your life for reason, and other for just a season. That's my motto anyway. I mean doesn't it make sense? I believe the reason aspect of the metaphor refers to the people who stay in your life the longest. These people imprint your life in a certain way and you just couldn't picture an image of your world without them in it. They're the type of people who care for you, support you, and only want the best for you. As for the season reference; It says that certain people only need to be in your life for a short while. Wether this short while be a week, a month, or even a few days, these people won't be there for forever. They're in your life for one reason; that reason being that they're there to teach you a lesson. Or even more than one lesson. Niether of you know this when you first meet each other, everything is peachy keen You've just met a new friend, you might even share commen intrests, and things are really starting to hit it off. They don't seem like a bad seed, but they are placed in your life for a reason. They're there for you to challenge yourself, take some risks, and maybe even break your heart . These types of people are the ones that keep you up at night asking yourself stupid questions you already know the answers too. They make you think, and they make you stronger. These people are needed in your life, even though most of the time they give you the most trouble. Even though they might  not stick around for long, just imagine what life would be like if you've never experienced something tragic; there would be no growth.